“I’m a savage” are the famous words to the song by Megan Thee Stallion touting the fact that she is able to put feelings aside and behave in a manner in which she has none. She isn’t the only one, countless songs in this generation are beginning to toy with the idea that love isn’t needed and instead we should strive to be heartless. Not long after the song was released Megan was unfortunately shot by another artist who unfortunately lived by this motto as well. So, where is all this savagery going? In a world that is becoming increasingly heartless suicide rates, depression, feelings of hopelessness, homicide, abuse, and confusingly negative views about the world are on the rise. Here are some ways that being a savage can cost us more than we realize.
1. We become depressed
So here is the deal, it is not possible to cut off a few emotions and leave the others. When we shut down our ability to feel hurt we shut down all the other emotions as well with the exception of anger. Not sure why, but anger seems to be the only emotion that survives our attempt to protect hurt feelings. With lack of emotions also comes lack of empathy and the ability to live by a code that honors our fellow person. This creates a world in which we want to feel love and belonging, but instead we get loneliness and distrust. It is no wonder so many are so angry all of the time.
So what do you get when all your emotions are gone? Nothing. You feel absolutely nothing. After a period of time of shutting down our emotions we become emotional numb and empty. At first this seems awesome. If you don’t feel anything, then you can’t feel hurt right? It seems like the perfect plan until you realize you are unable to experience true joy either. It feels good to yell that we are savages, until life hits and you realize you are utterly alone. It is in those moments that we realize how much we are created for connection and belonging and suddenly being a savage isn't working the way we want it to.
2. We become cynical
Ever been around someone who just doesn't believe in anything good? If someone is getting married they swear it won't last. If someone just got a promotion they are sure that person slept with the boss to get there. These people become draining as they are unable to experience joy, draining your ability to experience joy when you are around them. I cannot tell you how much I notice people making statements like “all men cheat” or “everybody lies”, or “I don’t trust anybody.”
While becoming cynical can seem like the solution to being disappointed by human nature it often leaves us with a negative view of the world. Cynicism disguises itself as a guard for your emotions when all it really does is steal the joy of the present moment. If you always believe everyone is lying or can’t be trusted, then you create walls that don’t let others in and you become imprisoned. You feel protected at first, but in the end you end up bitter, lonely, and unable to experience true happiness because happiness requires the ability notice positivity, and be grateful for all that is actually right in the world.
3. We become a part of a problem instead of the solution
So the world is full of savagery and instead of finding other people who are not savages we decide to become one ourselves. As we become more cold and callous toward the world we become the very thing we hate. The idea of becoming what the world dished out at you can feel good in the moment, but like bait on a fish hook what looks good at first turns into something that will slowly drain the life out of you.
As the world becomes increasingly cold, more people are finding it less important to be trustworthy themselves. This creates a cycle of hurting people, hurting other people. It doesn't fix the problem nor does it actually protect us from being hurt. It creates a cycle of self-destructive behaviors that produce more negativity. I have heard of AIDS victims intentionally giving other people AIDS after they were infected against their will. While their pain can be understood it is awfully selfish to infect others with the same thing that harmed you.
4. We are more likely to die younger
Depression, loneliness, social isolation, anger, etc increases physical health issues. All of this chaos and drama eventually adds up to negatively affect our bodies. Study after study has shown that our mental and emotional well-being have a direct affect on our physical well being. People who lead lives in which they don't belong or feel acceptance are at increased risk of pretty much every disease due to suppressed immune system. They are more likely to use drugs and alcohol to cope with life increasing a host of other issues. All of this leads to an early demise all stemming from never being able to heal from the hurts of the past, and experience love and belonging.
So what does all this mean? I am not telling you to go out into the world naïve with your heart on your sleeve. What I am saying is that you should get to the bottom of what hurt you, heal from it, and find healthier ways to interact with your fellow humans. We were created as social beings so our attempts at savagery are more of a trauma response than a true state of being. Learn to set healthy boundaries, surround yourself with healthy relationships, and learn to live in the present moment. If not, a life of savagery may cost you more than you ever intended to pay.
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